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Asshole Hipsters Drinking In NYC Water Towers Turned Into Speakeasies

CurbedWhether they’re “misunderstood icons” or “a rustic, turn of the century nod to convenience and practicality,” no one can deny that water towers are ubiquitous in New York City. Perched atop virtually every rooftop, they’re a necessity that provide water for both residences and fire departments, taking advantage of gravity to funnel water into buildings’ upper stories. But thanks to the innovative, totally ballsy folks over at Night Heron Speakeasy, Atlantic Cities reports, one (unused) aboverground cavern in a Chelsea building under construction temporarily found a new lease on life: as an illicit, invite-only watering hole. The exact location was discreet; space were limited; stair-climbing was required and thus heels were discouraged. Because of the off-limits nature of water towers, patrons were de facto trespassers. This was the latest initiative from an intrepid urban explorer-cum-entrepreneur who loves to make new use of abandoned places and is also involved with the Wanderlust Projects, which took people on a behind-the-scenes tour of Williamsburg’s Domino factory earlier this year. Building the space took three months; it operated for six weeks this spring. Let’s allemail the speakeasy to try and get them to restart the project in a new location; in the meantime, work up a thirst (and some serious envy for those folks who got to go) with some photos of this top-secret circular bar with stellar skyline views.

Listen if there’s one thing I hate, its giving people a hard time for the way they drink. Like when I tell people I just drink Bud Light or whatever standard bottled beer there is, and micro brew craft beer tough guys tell me I’m pathetic, it drives me insane. You wanna drink weird flavored beers for their hops and their barley and whatever, go for it. Why do you feel the need to crusade against Bud Light when I tell you I don’t like that shit? You wanna get drunk off of wine or girly liquor? Enjoy. I fuck with that stuff all the time now that I’m getting old and hungover. You wanna drink bottles at the club? Thats cool too. I like wings and beer but if you like bottles and cocktails on a rooftop somewhere, I am not gonna knock it. At the end of the day we’re all just trying to get drunk and get laid anyway, so who really cares how you get there?

But that being said, you are a fucking asshole if you’re climbing the rooftops of NYC buildings to drink inside of water towers. Climbing ladders and walking through decrepit hallways and shafts all so that you can drink inside of a giant barrel. What a bunch of hipster dickheads. Hey idiots! You know why they needed speakeasies? Because of fucking prohibition! The reason they were in shitty hidden hole in the wall bars is because they couldn’t be in a normal fucking bar. You think they thought it was “cool” or “rustic?” Fuck no.They thought it was hidden from police and if they didn’t have to do it, they would be in a normal bar. Bottom line is nobody in their right mind wants to drink inside a giant wooden barrel on a roof unless they are explicitly trying to be different or unique. And that is one scenario where I can most certainly criticize someone for the way they drink.