MANTOLOKING, NJ — Britain’s Prince Harry is headed to the New Jersey shore to visit two communities hard hit by Superstorm Sandy. From there he’ll travel to New York City to promote British trade and a community baseball program. With New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie as his tour guide, Prince Harry is scheduled to stop Tuesday morning in the towns of Mantoloking and Seaside Heights on a slender barrier island along the Atlantic Ocean. As he heads south, Harry will see a sign welcoming him in the Camp Osborn section of Brick Township, where 68 homes burned to the ground in a fire fueled by natural gas leaks. Someone in Lavallette nailed a plastic laundry basket to a pole with a sign welcoming Harry. In Seaside Heights, which was the home to MTV’s reality show “Jersey Shore,” the prince will see a famous image from the storm: a roller coaster that plunged off an amusement pier and into the ocean. Its demolition is scheduled to begin several hours after his visit concludes. He’ll also get to see the community’s rebuilt boardwalk, which is about two-thirds complete. In New York, the prince will attend an afternoon event promoting British trade. He’s then due to throw a pitch to promote a community baseball program involving a new partnership with the Royal Foundation of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry. Before leaving the country, Prince Harry travels Wednesday to Greenwich, Conn., to captain a polo team as part of the Sentebale Polo Cup.
Prince Harry just continuing to dominate life as the most insignificant famous dude on the planet. Whether his dick and balls are flopping around in Vegas, moving in with his brother and Kate like You, Me and Dupree, or just going to the Jersey Shore to look at shit, dude absolutely crushes life for no good reason. I mean look at this itinerary. Gonna come survey the damage of Hurricane Sandy a cool 7 months after it hit. Go look at the boardwalk. Throw out the first pitch at a community baseball game. Play some polo. Head home. Thats just a fucking vacation! We’re talking about Prince Harry’s New York Visit like he’s some sort of ambassador or diplomat or some shit. Dude is probably gonna stop off at the Parker House for Dollar Beers one night. Maybe Djais happy hour on Saturday afternoon. He’ll probably fuck like 2 dozen chicks in the week he’s here. And somehow he spins this as work or his “duty” as a member of the Royal Family. What a great gig. Absolutely no better job on this planet than being a “Prince.”