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Mr. Kraft Has Me, Jay-Z and Meek Mill. Plus Had Fingers in His Butt Crack and a Huge Win in Court. What Else Does Any Man Need?

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SourceRobert Kraft still has some very powerful allies during his Asian Spa case … including Jay-Z and Meek Mill.

Of course, Kraft has been friendly with both rap superstars for a while — but teamed up with them on Wednesday as part of a meeting for the REFORM Alliance, dedicated to reforming the criminal justice system.

CNN’s Van Jones — who’s the CEO of REFORM — was also on hand along with Philadelphia 76ers co-owner Michael Rubin. …

The guys could have easily asked Kraft to keep his distance from the group during his legal case because it could be viewed as a distraction — but clearly, they don’t feel that way.

What a day for Mr. Kraft. They say you judge a man by the company he keeps. Well he already had me from Minute One. And now he’s got some other powerful influencers as well. Jay-Z, Meek Mill, Van Jones, Michal Rubin. They’ve all Avengers … ASSEMBLE-d around him and me in this fight for justice. It just goes to show that if you do good things in this world – get one man out of prison, save another man’s football franchise – then those good works will come back around to you. Because karma. Loyalty should always be returned and in this case, it has.

As far as getting fingers in his crack during his massage? I don’t know if the corrupt prosecutors in this case are claiming that is some sort of evidence of wrongdoing. But based on my “Jerry Does Jupiter” investigative series, getting a masseuse’s digits up the old Prison Wallet is what that industry calls “The Basic Package.” As I reported three weeks ago, that was my only visit ever to an Asia Day Spa. I got a massage at a place that is not in the Happy Ending business. And I’ve never been so violated in my life, and I’ve had a prostate exam. It’s standard operating procedure at the most legitimate places, apparently, to knead a customer’s ass cheeks like you’re kneading pizza dough. That massage professional saw me from angles my own affectionate Irish Rose hasn’t seen in 25 years of marital bliss. I don’t know how that sounds in a court of law. But in a dark room filled with the quiet strains of New Age and Classical, it just seems … therapeutic. If that’s a crime, lock the whole state of Florida up. I’m just glad Jay-Z and Meek Mill are on my side in this.

And, obviously, I’m glad the judge in Martin County feels the same way. Him allowing the Kraft legal team’s motion to suppress that illegal spy video will come as a bad beat for Sheriff William D. Snyder, the politician-turned-bad cop who refused to speak to me. The guy in the Captain Stuebing costume:

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whose minions admitted to me had no jurisdiction where Orchids of Asia was located. Despite him having no legal right to, he’s seen the video of a 77-year-old getting his ass rubbed, the same way I did. And wants to share it with the media and the world so bad he’d give an elderly gentleman the Shocker for the chance. Just to turn it into votes.

Fortunately, fairness and the rule of law still exist in some parts of Florida. Thanks to the efforts of a few good men like the judge, me, and a couple of music superstars. Are we heroes? That’s for others to decide. I just want justice.