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Quite Literally Zero People In The History Of The World Have Ever Once Asked For A Vertical TV


The Verge – The latest addition to Samsung’s TV range is the Sero, a 43-inch TV that was designed with the millennial generation in mind and therefore pivots between horizontal and vertical orientations. It’s a much smarter idea than the phrase “vertical TV” would lead you to believe. Acknowledging that most mobile content is vertical, Samsung says the Sero is designed to encourage young people to project more of their smartphone stuff onto the TV by allowing it to go vertical. Throwing in 4.1-channel, 60W speakers along with an integrated navy stand and a minimalist rear design, Samsung seems to hope this TV will function as both a music streaming hub and a handsome piece of furniture.

So remember when you were watching the Battle of Winterfell on Sunday night and all you kept thinking about was, “man, I really wish this screen was really fucking tall and skinny so I wouldn’t be able to see a single damn thing that’s going on even more than I already can’t see because of the lighting”?

Well it looks like the genius wizards over at Samsung heard your complaints and came to the rescue. Because coming next month they’ll be releasing that vertical tv that all those millennials have been clamoring for. And now your home can be the one that everybody is dying to go to for NFL Sundays as you can watch everything that’s going on between the chains and then nothing else down field. Credit to Samsung for having their finger on the pulse and delivering here. Nothing worse than watching your favorite show and having to see all of the characters on screen at the same time.

Now after doing some research (reading the 3rd sentence of that paragraph), it looks like the intention here is so that people can easily Chromecast from their phone to their television without the aspect ratios being all sorts of fucked up. Which makes sense…I guess. Besides the fact that vertical videos just suck ass in general. As I’ve been getting older, I realize that you need to start cutting some people out of your life to make room for the ones who truly matter. Which is why as soon as I see any of my friends attempt to record a video on their phone while holding it vertically, I cut them out forever. Because I know that they’re not going to bring any additional value to my life.

What we really need to be doing is just focusing on getting rid of vertical video all together. We shouldn’t be enabling that sort of behavior by inventing new TVs that can swivel from horizontal to vertical. I’m sorry but George Washington didn’t beat the shit out of the Red Coats just so a bunch of snot-nosed brats can have a bunch of narrow ass TVs. You purchase this TV, you hate the Troops. Plain and simple.