In A Shocking Turn Of Events, It Appears That Kawhi Leonard Is The Greatest Basketball Player To Ever Live

Well….fuck. Kind of difficult to win a basketball game when you are playing against a robot who was designed specifically to dominate any and everybody who comes in his path. The only hope here is that Kawhi Leonard is like an older iPhone once a new version comes out and his battery life goes to shit. Because if the battery is fully charged for the first 4 games of this series? Yikes.

I’m not a huge X’s and O’s guy when it comes to basketball (hockey guy), but I’m pretty sure that even if you learned everything there is to know about the game, you still wouldn’t be able to come up with a way to defend against what Kawhi Leonard did last night. You pretty much just have to physically assault the guy. Do the Sixers need an enforcer? I would say they need more of a straight up goon.

And you can’t even rattle the guy emotionally or anything because he doesn’t have any of those. The man doesn’t have feelings. He doesn’t have emotions. It doesn’t even look like he has fun being out there. The only reason Kawhi put up 45 points against the Sixers last night is because he can. It’s not like he wants to be that guy. It’s not like he has this kill switch and really wanted to dominate the Sixers specifically. He doesn’t care about the Sixers. He’s just really fucking good at playing basketball and that’s just what he does. It’s so frustrating because you can’t even hate a guy like that. I want to hate Toronto so badly. I want this series to get just as greasy as the one with Brooklyn did. But when the best player on the floor is putting up 45 and still doesn’t show a single sign of emotion? It’s pretty much like you’re playing against the computer in NBA 2k19 on the Hall of Fame difficulty setting.

But seriously. Somebody needs to figure out how to unplug him. Or Drake needs to put on a Kawhi jersey.

@BarstoolJordie