Just Because Your Ass Is Real, Doesn't Mean Your Tits Have To Be

ICYMI, Daisy Keech is Instagram’s first #CertifiedRealBooty thanks to the help of a super professional, not at all creepy, Dr. Ghavami. He used brilliant medical jargon like “tight, tight skin” and “she eats meat” to silence all the naysayers and haters, and now we can definitively say: this ass is real life. (I heard my 20-year-old cousin use that phrase and figured this was the perfect time to showcase how hip I am.)

Now that that’s out of the way, onto the *BREAKING NEWS* of the day via her Instagram stories:

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I’M GETTING BOOBIES AND I’M SO EXCITED!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, however this is my body and I’m going to do what I want with it. I want boobs, so I’m going to get boobs. I’ve wanted them since I was 12 years old, I was always super insecure about this and the fact that I can fix it, why not!”

Ya damn right, Daisy! If you wanna get a boob job, you should get a boob job! Why hide it or attempt to deny it? Instead, save yourself some serious dough and get you a free boob job by putting it on display for the whole world to see.

After all, just because your ass is real, doesn’t mean your tits have to be!

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“Bye to the itty bitty titty committee cause I will be resigning! You guys will no longer see me with small boobs. Goodbye!”

As much as we hate to see you go, this member of the Itty Bitty Titty committee thanks you for your many years of service.

We’re better because of you.