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Get a Load of this 114 Year Old Lady Lying About Her Age to Get on Facebook

Anna Stoehr.jpg


Metro – When silver surfer Anna Stoehr decided to join Facebook on the eve of her 114th birthday, she came across an oversight which Mark Zuckerberg and pals may not have anticipated. Anna noticed 1900, the year she was born, was not listed as an option when she registered her date of birth to the site – that ‘only’ stretches as far back as 1905…She got around the problem by knocking 15 years off her age and becoming, in the eyes of Facebook at least, a sprightly 99-year-old.

Granny Stoehr, you little supercentenarian minx. I know exactly what’s going on here. Now I realize that this is someone’s great great great grandmother we’re talking about so we’ll try to be as respectful as possible, but Granny Stoehr is trying to go out with a bang. There’s just no other reasonable explanation for this. Social Media is a drug. If I’m awake 17 hours a day, I spend a solid 15-16 of those hours just swiping down on my phone to refresh Twitter. No way does Granny Stoehr want to live with that kind of an addiction just for the hell of it. Nay, she’s on the internet prowl to find one more young go hard to give her the ride of her life and that’s precisely where the age change comes into play here. She’s no schlup, she knows what exactly what she wants and how to get it. She could easily have changed her birth date to 1905 but that would have still made her undesirable, dried-up 109-year-old. Nobody wants that. But by changing her birth date to 1915, there’s a possibility there are some 80-something-year-olds still kicking out there who are looking for a nice night out with a cougar. Gross, I know. But old people knock around the boots still too. Granny Stoehr only has so much time left and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t respect the crap out of her hustle.