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Dear Lizzy, I'm Really Into This Girl I'm Not Yet Dating And Now I'm Moving Away... What Do I Do?


Dear Lizzy,

I have had a strong feelings for this girl for a while. I have known her for about a year and I have asked her out multiple times, including delivering her flowers once just because. She was in a verbally abusive relationship for three years but it ended almost three years ago.

We have a good relationship from working together but she says she still isn’t ready but has never officially told me no. I plan on moving to take a new job which will put me eight plus hours away from her. She is focused on finishing her degree and landing her first job in the nursing field.

How should I go about this from here on out?



Dear TC,

You seem like a really nice guy so I’m inclined to lay down the truth gently… but BECAUSE you’re a nice guy, I won’t. I simply don’t think a soft serving of reality will be as effective as the following:

She HAS “officially” told you no. Her NOT saying yes to any of the multiple times you’ve asked her out IS her officially telling you no.

While there’s no question her verbally abusive relationship has given her some hesitation on the dating front, as you mentioned, that was three years ago. If she felt strongly about you that would be enough time for her to, at the very least, go on A DATE with you. Instead, in the one year you’ve known her, she has never said yes to your invitations for one explicit reason:

If a girl has known you for an entire year and is into you, she will say yes. She has not said yes to you in 365 days because she does not want to say yes. Stop letting her past be a mask from the objective truth you don’t want to see.

So how do you go about it from here on out? You’re moving 8+ hours away and you’re wondering what to do about her?!! You say goodbye to her when you leave and only look forward. Allow this new beginning to be a new beginning and stop prioritizing people who don’t prioritize you

– Lizzy




Need advice on dating, work, family, or everyday shit? Please submit any questions to dearlizzy@barstoolsports.com.

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