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Dear Lizzy, I'm Into A Bartender From My Regular Spot But I'm Not Sure If She's Into Me


Dear Lizzy,

I’m hung up on this girl and I don’t know my next move.

Quick History: I am a frequent lunch goer to the same spot every Friday (usually with a few other co-workers) and never just by myself. I have been crushing hard on the bartender for the better half of 3 months or so. Well, one morning I woke up to a follow on Instagram which told me that she sought me out, so it was my time to go for it.

We quickly had plans to get drinks that coming weekend, texting back and forth and on the day of the meet….things came up, sorry, blah blah blah. No worries, lets figure something out for another night this week or this weekend just let me know. I didn’t want to continue to reach out and be super thirsty, but I also wanted her to know I am totally interested so I didn’t want to just blow it off or wait for her to get back to me for that matter. It took until the following Friday where she reached out to see if I was coming in for lunch that day.

Does she do this to others? Is she actually interested, or are my reads just way off?

What’s my next move Lizzy?


Bad Read?

Dear Bad Read,

You’re a bad read. This girl is clearly interested in going out with you and you’re fucking it up by trying to play the game.

She followed you an Instagram, she quickly said yes to drinks, something came up on her end, she told you, you said it was fine but then YOU didn’t follow up with her. You stopped communicating with her and SHE had to text you a week later and ask if you were coming in because she clearly wanted to see you.

Here’s the thing about working in a restaurant/bar: your schedule is all over the place and sometimes you have to pick up shifts or trade shifts and are forced to cancel plans last minute. This happens ALL the time. Maybe that’s what happened with your girl. I don’t know, but I will tell you this: if she was not interested, she would not have reached to see if you were coming in for lunch.

Maybe she didn’t tell you which night she was available because you played it so cool and never reached back out to her. It’s possible by the time she got her work schedule for the following week it had been a few days and you NOT texting her gave her the impression you weren’t interested. This is exactly why games are stupid. If you want to talk to the girl, talk to her! If she’s interested, she’ll talk back, if not, then she won’t. It’s really not that complicated.

So stop being a pussy, let her know you’re still interested, and set up a time/place to meet. “Hey, I’d love to get drinks this week if you’re still down.” If she responds with positively, don’t bullshit around and concern yourself with being thirsty – she’s already said yes!

If she says no and I’m totally wrong here (I’m not), then you and your buds probably need to find a new location for your Friday lunches.

– Lizzy




Need advice on dating, work, family, or everyday shit? Please submit any questions to dearlizzy@barstoolsports.com.

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