New Zealand Bans People From Naming Their Children "Anal"

Telegraph – New Zealand officials have released a list of baby names put forward by parents that were rejected because they were too bizarre or offensive, including “Lucifer” and “Mafia No Fear”. The list of 77 names reveals one child was set to be called “Anal” before the Department of Internal Affairs vetoed the proposal, while another narrowly avoided being dubbed “.” or full stop. Other names on the list included “4Real”, “V8″, and “Queen Victoria”. In some cases, parents appeared to have lost any inspiration for coming up with a moniker for their offspring, wanting to call the latest addition to the family simply “2nd”, “3rd” or “5th”. The department’s rules forbid any name that might imply a child holds an official title or rank, so “King”, “Duke” and “Princess” were among those that had been turned down most since 2001. “Justice” was the most popular, having been rejected 62 times, although “Justus” and “Juztice” also failed to gain official approval.

Can you think of one thing that can ruin a kid’s life faster than naming him Anal? You might as well go to the top of the nearest building and throw your baby off the top of it if you’re gonna name it Anal. The kid’s life is over before it even starts. My question is – is it worse to be a boy and named Anal, or a girl? Its really a coinflip when you think about it. If you’re a chick and your name is Anal you’re doomed to a life of guys expecting to fuck you in the butt. Literally every guy in the world will expect you to have butt sex with them. You can basically only be a porn star or a stripper with a name like Anal. Its basically condemning your daughter to a lifetime of sluthood. If you’re a dude, you’re just going to be made fun of to the point that you make one of those “It Gets Better” youtubes before killing yourself. Your nickname will be Assfuck. Everyone will think you’re gay. You’ll be tormented until you just give up and actually turn gay. Its just a death wish for your kid no matter how you slice it.

PS – Black parents would have a hell of a time naming their kids in New Zealand. Like their top 5 choices would probably all get vetoed every time they had a kid.