Atlanta Police On The Manhunt For A Suspect Who Stole $8K From A Slot Machine...At A Gas Station???

Atlanta – Police are ramping up their search for a man who allegedly stole $7,900 from a gambling machine in Atlanta earlier this month. On Tuesday, Crime Stoppers released surveillance footage of the theft, which occurred at a Pomona Park gas station in the early hours of April 6. The clip begins with the suspect sitting at a slot machine while another man gambles alongside him. The bandit can be seen keeping an eye out for the gas station’s clerk, before he brazenly begins to pull apart the machine to retrieve cash from its inside.

Hold the phones…you can gamble in Atlanta? On slot machines? In gas stations? Good GOD. Is this a thing now? I’m all for the full legalization of gambling, but slot machines in gas stations may be the most dangerous occurrence to happen in The Peach State since General Sherman came rumbling through. The fact there was a cool $8K in the belly of that beast before it was cleaned out is a scary thought, too. If you can sit down and become a slot jockey at a gas station, where can’t you get your degenerate on? McDonalds, churches, funeral parlors. The possibilities are limitless. In fact, that’s probably the worst place to put try and get people to stay. Have you ever walked into a gas station where you thought, “Gee, the ambiance of this establishment is exquisite. Shopkeep, a box of your finest cigarettes, please. I plan on staying here for awhile.” Shit no. There’s zero reason to spend an iota of a second more than necessary at a freaking gas station*. The last thing you need is to lose a paycheck and then accidentally run into Seabass looking for some late night action. Not good for business. Or life.

*That excludes Wawa with the pumps, of course. In fact, give me a hammock and N64 and there wouldn’t be any reason to leave. Hoagies for life.