Apparently I Was In Chicago Last Weekend (??)

Yesterday Chief blogged the worst walk of shame ever.

When I saw it, I had a million questions about how in the world this could’ve possibly happened. How did she lose her shirt and her bra but not her jeans, purse, phone or shoes? What kind of asshole didn’t give her a shirt or a hoodie to wear home? It’s snowing/raining, why not just take an Uber?

But apparently I missed the biggest question of all.

WAS I IN CHICAGO LAST WEEKEND?!

Examples galore of people thinking that girl who gives zero fucks is me flooded my timeline this morning.

…and the real dagger was when one of my actual friends in real life DMed me.

Yikes.

I don’t think her body looks like mine other than the fact she’s tall, blonde and rocks a high pony tail.  BUT maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have a low key weekend in NYC. Maybe I was in Chicago after all.

I’m a little old for walk of shames, but the preferable move would include an Uber, sunglasses, the guy’s clothes and an iced coffee. But hey, shit happens when you party. You never know when you’re going to be struttin topless through the streets with 0.0% shame. (What a move.)

Thanks for the good time, Chicago (???????????)