NFL Thanksgiving Day Rewind Brought To You By Directv

Big Cat11/28/2014 4:30 PM

Directv is giving out an Exclusive student discount for Stoolies looking to watch all the games- Prices now starting at $49.99. Stream 2014 NFL SUNDAY TICKET live online. No satellite required. eligible school links at the end of the blog.

How’s everyone doing out there? Hungover? Fat? If you’re at work you probably want to kill yourself, if you’re at home with your family, you definitely want to kill yourself, so let’s mix it up for a quick 10 minutes with a Thanksgiving rewind.

The games…

Bears 17, Lions 34

Well we’ve already discussed what happened in this one but here is your quick refresher.

This..

And this….

Quickly turned into this

and this

The Bears fucking stink. Everyone on Offense stinks. Everyone on Defense stinks. The coaching staff stinks. My brain for actually believing in them and thinking they could do something this year, stinks and is a moron. These are the facts.

And now I sit here and eat my humble pie, served hot by Kelly Hall and her fat face fiancee. Whatever. The Lions are a far superior football team.

My face all day after that game.

Eagles 33, Cowboys 10

Tough day to be a guy with an oversized ring helmet on.

When your own team twitter account is tweeting this

That’s when you know you’re in trouble

And to be honest 33-10 wasn’t even an accurate score for this shellacking. This was a PASTING. The Eagles walked into Jerry’s house and dominated the Cowboys for 4 straight quarters. Even Mark Sanchez was rolling.

Exorcising his demons of Thanksgiving past.

…

Do you know what is even better than your team winning? Your bitter rival exploding on the sidelines in a finger pointing contest. THAT is when you know you have a team beat.

*fart noises*

When you win like this, you can wear anything you want, including a jacket from Michael Jackson’s closet.

..
Quick intermission for College Games.

STRONG name

STRONG play

Seahawks 19, 49ers 3

This game sucked. A brutal combination of the Seahawks Defense from last year returning to form (Bobby Wagner coming back has been an understated element in this) and the 49ers offense looking downright atrocious. So instead of game highlights we have Harbaugh highlights, Let’s Go.

Pregame piece on Harbaugh building houses in Peru, guess what he was wearing.

National Anthem Harbaugh had his hat fall off his head and fly on to the flag, so American.

Mid game Harbaugh licking his lips

And feeling the heat

Post game Harbaugh chopping it up with Owen Wilson, obviously talking about football

And finally the greatest Harbaugh quote of all time. He is Football Dwight Schrute except it’s not a fictional character, it’s 100% authentic. Guy just wants football and then when he’s all out of football he wants death. Nothing more, nothing less.