LOL! Milwaukee, Chicago's Largest Suburb, Is Dying Their River Green For The Bucks Playoff Run


Excitement over the Milwaukee Bucks heading into the NBA playoffs this weekend is enough to turn the Milwaukee River a bright shade of green.

That’s exactly what the Bucks plan to do Friday in Milwaukee as the team and the city jump-start a gigantic party to accompany what is hoped will be a deep run in the NBA playoffs.

“We have been working for months on the ability to launch the playoffs by painting the Milwaukee River green for a period of time,” said Peter Feigin, president of the Bucks and Fiserv Forum.

The Bucks and Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett’s office have been working together to put the river dyeing plan in place.

Exactly where and when the event takes place will be forthcoming, according to the Bucks. The weather forecast for Friday calls for partly sunny skies and a breezy high of 50.

Is there a city or state that has a bigger inferior complex to Chicago than Milwaukee or Wisconsin do?  I mean it’s like… come on.  Dying your little creek green?  Seriously?  Like what did you think was gonna happen here?  The only possible outcome out of this little publicity stunt is at best getting shit on my idiotic internet bloggers like me and getting shit on by a real, actual city that’s got 9MM people in it’s greater metro area.

But Milwaukee, Green Bay, and all the other little hodunk towns STANK and I hate em.  Bunch of fat, disgusting idiots running around, all of whom closely resemble Brendan Dassey.  You provide literally nothing to this union other than a couple of good lakes that make for good fishing spots and cabin locations.

Real talk though, still love the Brewers.  There’s an urban legend going around that if you’re a Cubs fan and say “Christian Yellich” 3x in your bathroom with the lights off that he’ll appear and take a Louisville Slugger to your skull.  Madison, you’re cool too.  Best party school on the planet.

Other than that, get the fuck outta here, Milwaukee.  Leave river dying to a real city: