Two Soccer Refs Get Engaged Right Before Calling A Game, Will Undoubtedly Produce Total Jackass Children

Unless you’re a total shit bag parent, I feel like most children grow up idolizing their mom and dad (or “mom and mom” or “dad and dad”. It’s 2019, after all). They’re your parents. They brought you into this world. And for the most part, you want to be just like them when you grow up. Again, I realize there are a bunch of angsty teens out there who want to be completely different than their parents. But I feel like as long as you do a good job raising your kids, you’re their heroes.

So if your mom and dad are both referees and they had the audacity to make a game they were about to officiate all about themselves by getting engaged right before opening kickoff? Whoa boy, those kids are going to end up being complete and total jackasses. No questions about it.

I mean the thing about refs in the first place is that they’re basically just glorified narcs. Their entire job is to just call people out for breaking the rules. They think of themselves as police officers out there on the pitch but they are way closer to narcs than they are to cops. So you know for damn sure that these kids are going to grow up being the types who will be calling fouls during pickup games at recess and shit like that.

Also, I feel like it’s probably pretty important to allow your kids to make a few mistakes here and there while they’re growing up in order to learn from those mistakes. But when mommy and daddy are both referees? Good luck trying to get away with anything. You’ll be getting red cards and suspensions thrown your way every damn day. So basically these kids are being set up to be a bunch of nerds who are always narcing out their friends. Maybe it’s because I just wrote a blog about “Recess” yesterday so it’s fresh in my head, but these kids are going to be full blown Randalls.

And again–way to make the game all about yourselves. Typical ref move right here. Wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they ended up going on a power trip and handed out red cards to any player who didn’t clap for their engagement. Makes me sick.

@BarstoolJordie