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Apparently The Best Way To Avoid Getting Bit By Mosquitoes This Summer Is To Listen To A Shit Ton Of Dubstep Music

CBC – Mosquito season is fast approaching, but instead of reaching for the insect repellent sprays and lotions, Canadians may one day crank up some electronic music.

For a new study, researchers in Asia subjected the mosquito that causes yellow fever to music by dubstep artist Skrillex — in particular the track Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites, which they chose because of its mix of especially high and low frequencies. The researchers found the music had a significant impact on the mosquito population in several ways.

First, mosquitos that were exposed to the music were nearly four times slower to go for blood than their counterparts who didn’t get the Skrillex treatment, and their feeding activity was lower. Second, the Skrillex track clearly didn’t get mosquitos “in the mood”: in fact, those that listened to the electronic music copulated far less often than their counterparts in a quiet environment.

This right here is the definition of being caught between a rock and a hard place. Because on one hand, getting bit by mosquitoes all summer sucks. It’s miserable. It’s already hot outside but now you’re hot AND you’re itchy as shit? Yeah no thanks. The only issue, however, is that we’re all not made out of money. We can’t all go around spending our hard-earned bucks on bug spray all the dang time. And those citronella tiki torches? C’mon, man. I’d have to take out a high interest loan to be able to throw some of those in the yard.

So for those of us who can’t afford to be spending our rent money on bug repellent, it appears that listening to Skrillex will do the job just as effectively. The only issue there, however, is that you have to listen to electronic music all summer. And I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather get a mosquito bite on my dick every single day of the summer than spend the best months of the year having to listen to womp womp music all the damn time. No offense to Mr. Skrillex or anything but I’d rather not listen to the audio of a couple of robots fucking. Which I guess means that I have a lot more in common with mosquitoes than I previously thought considering they hate that shit as well. I mean their one job in life is to suck the blood of humans and/or other animals. And when they are subjected to listening to electronic music, they flat out refuse to do their job. Also, much like myself, it makes them extremely less horny. You can’t be making love with an emergency alert going on in the background.

It sucks, man. I wish these science nerds would conduct a study to see how the mosquitoes are affected by listening to a bunch of Chris Stapleton or something. If that works as mosquito repellent then I’m all aboard. But if you’re telling me that the only way I’m going to not get bit up by mosquitoes all summer is to listen to strictly Skrillex and other electronic music? Well then I guess I’m going to be one itchy son of a bitch this summer.