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I Just Really Wish I Understood Cricket

I’d say that one of my biggest regrets in life is that I’ve been on this Earth for almost 27 years now and I’ve never gotten into cricket. To me, it just seems like one of those sports that screams “I’m better than you” if you’re a fan of it. Don’t get me wrong–football is great and everything. But any idiot can sit there and enjoy a football game. Saying you’re a fan of football is like saying you’re a fan of McDonald’s. It’s fast. It’s easy. It’s American. It’s not necessarily great for your health but it’s so damn addicting that you keep going back to it anyway. That’s actually a perfect analogy so you can frig off if you disagree.

But cricket? Cricket is exotic. It requires a more refined taste. You can’t find it just at any random corner in America. It’s a craft burger joint that probably doesn’t have a sign out front or the price of the food on the menu.

And listen. There is room for both of these places. Sure, the artisanal burgers are delicious and you feel a little more sophisticated about shoving a wad of meat into your mouth when it’s prepared with such care and passion. But you’ll also scarf down some McDonald’s when you’re hungover on a Sunday afternoon because it’s cheap, quick and it gets the job done better than anything else. I’m just saying I wish I had some of the other stuff in my life but for the last 27 years, there has been no cricket.

And again, I think a lot of it probably has to do with the fact that I think being able to say you’re a cricket fan and actually know what you’re talking about makes you better than your ordinary sports fan. It gives you that leg up. Cricket is a regal game. That shit has been played since the 16th or 17th century in England. It’s fancy as shit but then you also have the Indian Premier League that really sexes it up a little like in the video you see above. That crowd right there looks like they’re at a rock concert or something. So you kind of get the best of both worlds there. It’s an old ass fancy game, but then you can also turn those stadiums into a damn party like you’d see for an NFL game.

Also–I think that blogging about cricket could become extremely lucrative. It’s one of the most popular sports in the world, mainly because India fucking loves it. There are 1.339 BILLION people who live in India. Imagine if I could get just half of one percent of India’s population to click on a cricket blog? That’s still 6,695,000 pageviews. Yes please.

So I guess that’s my goal now. To be more of a Cricket Guy moving forward. Maybe I’ll start a podcast or something.