Pete Alonso's First Career Home Run Was A Fucking Rocket

I don’t care if you call him Pete, Peter, Bam Bam, Polar Bear, or Pete Kong With The Big Ol’ Donkey Dong. That big bastard has some legitimate power in his bat and it feels pretty fucking good that he’s on the Major League roster instead of giving poor Triple-A pitchers nightmares during their entire bus ride to Syracuse. Shout out to Sexy Brodie for using his good looks and agenty charm to convince the Wilpons to not keep Alonso in the Minors so he could crush that ball to Collier County, home of Ray “The Mule” Finkle. Giving Mets fans a nice little highlight as well as some breathing room during Edwin Diaz’s highwire act in the 9th was exactly what we needed before bed. Here’s to another 500 of those in your career, Big Pete!

In case that monster bomb wasn’t enough, the interaction between Alonso and Dom Smith in the dugout was pretty fucking awesome.

Game 4 and I’m officially all in on this team again. Baseball is a hell of a drug.