Barstool NYC Best Comments of The Week
Here we go. The moment you fucking losers wait for all week. There were only 2 or 3 that really jumped out at me this week. I just went back and picked out some of the highest voted comments from the past couple days to round out the top 5. Sorry I didn’t keep up with your comments all week. I was busy interviewing Jay Cutler. If you don’t think they’re funny, blame yourselves. You guys voted them up.
Blog: Two Asian Girls Convinced They Are Twins Start A KickStarter Fund To Raise Enough Money So They Can Meet” Commenter: godhatesislandersfans2: “Oh, Herro, you rooka rike me! We famirry now!” Asians mixing up L’s and R’s will never, I repeat, NEVER not be funny. I retweeted this after Yu Darvish’s perfect game got broken up – just as funny:
RT @tmac628: So crose.. One rittle single.. So sad.. So ronery Yu Darvish
— KFC (@KFCBarstool) April 3, 2013
it just always works.
Blog: Guess That Ass Amy Markham. Commenter: 4guys1barstool: “This is like Pres trying to fit into a starfish pinnie” – In order to understand this one you gotta see the pictures of this chick’s tits falling out of her bikini. But once you do and you think about Pres’ tits in a tank top, its gold.
Blog: “10 Signs He’ll Be Good In Bed, Written By What Appears To Be A Mentally Handicapped Girl” Commenter: whereismyballdontlieshirt: “Top signs she’ll be good in bed: 1) She’s in a bed. 2) She’s willing to have sex with you.” Short and sweet. Sums up the difference between psychopathic, sexually unsatisfied chicks, and guys who just walk around with a smile on their face because as long as they get to unload their balls, they are happy in bed.
Blog: Power Rankings of Classic Internet Gross Outs” Commenter: DrDingleBerry7: “I’ll never forget the time 10 years ago in 7th grade when my friends and I downloaded a video off Kazaa called “Girls Best Friend”. We went out for a couple of hours waiting for it to download. Pure excitement on all our faces to see our first video of a girl with a dildo little did we know it was a video of a German Shepard fucking a girl missionary. Good bye innocence forever.” This was the exact reason I wrote this blog. Because everyone has a story like this about the internet. Everyone has accidentally, or purposely watched some genuinely fucked up shit on the internet that they will never, ever forget. Waiting 3 hours for a Kazaa porno to download and then realizing you got a German Shepard fucking a chick is as nostalgic as it gets.
Blog: Hentai Porn Website Pulls The Meanest, Cruelest April Fools Joke Of All Time. Commenter: MikeTV - “if my my internet history went public: 1) my gf would dump me 2) my family would disown me 3) i would get fired… But on the bright side, i wouldn’t have to jerk off standing over the toilet at 2am with one headphone on and one off making sure my gf is still asleep” Preach Mike, Preach! That sums up every man’s internet history. And if you are married or live with your girlfriend, you know exactly what Mike is talking about at 2am.