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Dear Lizzy, How Do I Hit On Girls At The Gym?


Dear Lizzy,

I’m 31 and feel like the gym is one of the last great places to meet someone organically for a multitude of reasons: physical attraction, work ethic, how they carry themselves/treat others, usually schedules align if you’re there at the same time, etc.

I’ve managed a date via the gym once in the past but it was the result of a coincidental elevator ride- something you can’t bank on, no headphones, no fish tank element.

I’ve heard girls say they feel gross while working out and to never approach them.

Interested to hear your two cents,

Gym Curious

Dear Gym Curious,

You are actually the third person to ask me about approaching girls in the gym and I haven’t responded because this is a tricky situation that may be difficult to properly explain… but here it goes.

There are two types of girls that go to the gym:

1) The girls that put makeup on to go to the gym and pose for pictures for the Gram. Some actually workout, others are just there to look cute and let the world know they are working out. (I’ve actually witnessed girls walk into the locker room from the street, set down their purses, take the mirror picture, and walk out without ever actually working out. Twice. Lol.)

2) The girls that are actually there to workout and do NOT want to be bothered while they’re literally sweating their asses off.

I fall into the second category, which is a good thing for you because that means I’m going to be your toughest critic while also giving you advice that works across the board for BOTH types of women.

DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, talk to a woman when she is in the act of working out.

If she is on the treadmill, leave her be.

If she is lifting weights, leave her be.

If she is lifting weights incorrectly, do NOT use this as an opportunity to tell her what she is doing wrong, judge her silently and leave her alone.

If she is on a mat stretching, do NOT think this is your shot to make some dumbass comment like, “Oh man, I wish I was better at stretching. I just hate doing it, ya know?” Ya she does know because she probably hates stretching too knowing a man is staring at her as she bends over in tight yoga pants.

The only time you can talk to her is when she is NOT working out. If she finished her workout and is drinking water while standing around the front desk, that’s a good time. If she’s taking an elevator (as you mentioned), that’s a good time. If you both are walking out together, also a good time.

But here’s where the money is: if it’s a workout studio (Soul Cycle, Rumble, etc) that has communal lockers out in the open, that is the absolute perfect time and place to talk to a girl. Yes, you are both sweaty and kind of gross, but you’re both sweaty and gross together, AND you both feel pretty damn good because you just did a tough workout and your endorphins are flying all over the place. More importantly, you both just did the SAME workout, so that’s an easy intro into the conversation that won’t make you look like a creeper.

You’re welcome in advance.

– Lizzy




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