Purdue University Bans Girls, Drugs, And Alcohol In An Effort To Get Students To Pay Attention

(Chicago Tribune)–“There’s a finite amount of bandwidth available,” said Mark Sonstein, the university’s executive director of information technology infrastructure. “If you have people who are streaming a movie, then they are consuming all of the available bandwidth.”

It’s the latest skirmish in the never-ending struggle between teachers and distracted students, using a technological fix to do what some professors have achieved by rounding up smartphones before class. So far, it seems to be going over without much fuss: University officials say they haven’t received any complaints.

Okay so my headline was misleading. Purdue isn’t banning those things. Except for maybe girls and I’m so sure if that’s a ban or if there simply aren’t any in West Lafayette. Here is the actual headline from the Chicago Tribune

Can’t get kids to pay attention in class because of Netflix and Hulu, huh? Well not to be the old ass crotchety millenial as opposed to the new age cool millenial…but in my day if you didn’t need to pay attention in class it was because the class was a joke. We didn’t have fucking wifi and smart phones hadn’t been invented yet. In my day if you wanted to slack off in class you had to work at it. You had to stare at one of those pull-down maps of Europe in the 1700s looking and think wow the Holy Roman Empire was fucking huge at one point while your English Lit teacher was babling on about god knows what. Chaucer or something, idk. The flip side…if the class was hard and you didn’t pay attention you got a bad grade. And if you got enough bad grades, then you got kicked out. So that would be my advice to Purdue…actually make kids pay attention by making the classes difficult so they don’t flunk out. But then that puts the University in a tough spot because they don’t want the kids to flunk out. They need to make the classes easy enough to pass so kids can be riddled with 200k in debt, but also not expect them to learn anything. It’s quite the pickle for academia. Just don’t ban Barstool. We need those Purdue clicks and they need the smokeshows of the days since there aren’t any girls on campus.

PS: Me when we did start getting wifi in every classroom