If you’re new to me, you might be surprised to learn that I once dated* Danielle Herrington, of SI Swimsuit cover fame. Our relationship was intense, tumultuous, and ultimately doomed by Dave Portnoy who said it was “unprofessional” that I would court women that come into the office. Our whirlwind romance was my initiation to Barstool, and I’ll forever hold a place in my heart for Dani.
Recently, she offered some dating tips that make it clear she learned as much from our relationship as I did:
Ask Men- For the model, if you’re looking for a hard and fast date rule to apply across the board, it has to be planning. As Herrington points out, taking the time and effort to plan a date will make a big impact. “I don’t necessarily have a specific activity that would make a date perfect, but definitely something fun and adventurous,” she says. “I love when a guy makes the effort to plan something special.”
Something special, fun, and adventurous… hmmm. Maybe something like, oh, I dunno, trading punches on the heavy bag? Sparring until one of us breaks a nose? Yeah, that’s me.
When locking in those plans or following up post-date, your instinct may be to shoot her a text or an IG IM. But Herrington suggests you go old school and give her a ring. It’s a bold move that she appreciates. “I LOVE when a guy calls. No one calls anymore, so now when a guy does, it stands out to me so much more,” she says. “I think it shows a lot of confidence and that little bit more effort makes a huge difference. Texts are too easy!”
Yeah, obviously I’d prefer to have called you Danielle. Just needed a goddamn phone number. Unfortunately, your manager and Dave both stepped in to make sure that never happened. I didn’t have a choice; I had to DM. But you knew I was trying to be old-fashioned. And that’s what counts.
“I appreciate handwritten love notes. Like calling, this seems to have become nonexistent these days, but they’re so personal and are a special opportunity to really show your significant other what you love about them,” says Herrington… “And whenever I get a handwritten note, I feel like I’m in a classic romantic movie, which is always fun.”
Christ almighty. Penmanship is my 4th best sport. I write in cursive like some niece or something. I’d have sent you more letters than Hogwarts trying to get Harry to enroll that first year. And don’t worry—I write on recycled paper.
“Confidence, a sense of humor, and kindness are the qualities I find most attractive in a man,” she says.
Confidence? I asked a SI swimsuit model out two weeks into this job. A sense of humor? The haters will disagree, but the general consensus seems to be that I’m a relatively funny guy. And kindness? Even when Dave torpedoed our relationship, I still allowed him to be my best friend. Mother Teresa and Gandhi smile down upon me. It’s almost like she answered that question while reading the stats off my baseball card.
So there you have it: Danielle Herrington still has feelings for me. Can’t say I blame her. Since we broke up, I’ve gained like 40,000 instagram followers. Who knows what the future holds for us. For now, I’m glad we’re just friends.
*For the sake of libel protection, we did not actually date.