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Irish Town Legalizes Drinking and Driving

NBCNewYorkThe Irish town of Kilgarvan passed a law this winter that allows members of its community to drink and drive. Proposed by local pub owner and politician Danny Healy-Rae, the motion allows people who live in country areas to have a few beers before they drive home. Healy-Rae told The New York Times he thinks the measure will help preserve pub culture, lower the risk of suicide and attack isolation in the small town. Amid governmental and local backlash, Healy-Rae says the law isn’t supposed to apply to everyone. “I am talking about mainly elderly people who live in very remote places who come to town to get a bit of shopping, enjoy a couple of pints and a chat with friends and then drive home at less than 30 miles an hour,” Healy-Rae told The Times. “These are not the ones causing accidents. What is the alternative for them where no public or other transport is available? Staying at home lonely, staring at the four walls?” Some local politicians are still shocked that the motion was passed. Although Kerry County council member Toireasa Ferris said that isolation by the elderly in rural areas is a problem, she doesn’t see allowing them to drink and drive the only fix to the problem. “Never in my wildest imaginations did I think it would ever be passed,” Ferris, who was absent when the measure passed because her child was sick, told The Times.

Gotta love Ireland. “We’re not talking about allowing this for everyone. Just the elderly drunk ones!” Thats exactly who should be behind the wheel. The ones who can’t see, hear, react, or move when their sober. Now get them drunk and lets make sure we protect their right to drive. Just tell them to go slow. Christ. Sometimes I wonder how the Irish haven’t just faded into bolivian yet. My people just passed over by evolution. Become one of those lost civilizations like Atlantis or the people on Easter Island. Here lie the ruins of the Irish People – they once walked the world drinking alcohol, eating potatoes and abusing their spouses until one day they drank and drove themselves to death. Just disappeared from earth.

Seriously though – if the alternative is a bunch of bored sober old folks offing themselves in the countrysides, might as well give this drunk driving thing a try. They’re gonna end up dead one way or the other. Let em enjoy a few more pints before its a wrap.