Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premieres Monday (12/4) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1-3 NOW

To The Blind Guy Painting On A Home Improvement Show: You're Doing Amazing, Sweetie

As you all know, I’m not the best at home improvement. I had to hire someone to hang my beautiful French doors and I dont even cut my own grass. That being said, I’m a much better painter than this dude. This guy fucking sucks at painting. Probably not his fault because he technically cant see what he’s painting. Not being able to see makes painting tough just like not being about to hear makes playing the piano difficult.

Honestly, if you’re letting the blind guy help, you might as well just have him dip the roller in water. That way you dont have to go back and correct everything. As always, it’s the thought that counts I guess.

It’s a nice moment for those of us watching at home but imagine coming home from one of those vacations that these shows send you on because your house is being “fixed”. You’re standing in your yard and the show host says,

“while you were away, Steve came over and helped us paint your house.”

“Steve who?”

“Steve Simmons. Your neighbor.”

“Fucking Blind Steve? You let him paint?”


“Jesus Christ. Did you put enough tarps down?”

“Yeah. We did.”

“I mean. Did you literally cover the entire place with fucking tarps? Steve is blind as shit.”

“Yes we did.”

“Alright. Let’s see the damage. I cant believe you’ve done this.”

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“Steve, do you see what you’ve done? The wall is a mess!”

“No,” says Steve. “I cant see anything at all.”