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Fashion Alert: It Takes A Lot Of Balls To Wear Nails That Ejaculate

When the tweet above popped up on my timeline & I was delighted; I’ve seen plain ol’ penis nails, and also a bachelorette party cake that ejaculates White Russian cocktails, but never anything like this.

I believe the tweet itself (“please support my niece’s nail salon!”) was a joke based off viral stories like the one from this past weekend where Billy wanted people to support his Dad’s donut shop. (People came by the hundreds… good vibes.)

But backstory aside, as per usual, I couldn’t just take it at face value & went down a rabbit hole going off the watermarked handle (@nail_sunny) and my goodness…

Keeping it safe with the condoms.

If dicks aren’t your thing, they also do a full set of prawns.

If you got it, flaunt it.

With the amount I misplace my cards I wish I could just have mine embedded in my nail, too.

You might have to pull some strings to get these done. ha.. ha

It’s your third date & he’s taking you to his favorite Italian spot. Surprise him by grating the cheese over his ravioli yourself.

This gives me hope for having my own milkshake nails someday…

Clam jam ft. pearl party!

Every time I think I’m done & this Insta page can’t get any weirder, I’m wrong.

Perfume nails that actually spray.

It appears that Nail Sunny has locations in both Russia & the U.S., but it’s hard to tell because everything is in Russian, and it also wasn’t quite clear if every design was their own.

Whatever the case, as Spring approaches this has me excited to step out of the box & do something fresh & fun with my own nails besides the usual routine of doing a half-assed self-paint job & then biting them. Maybe nails that light up when it’s time to do basic adulting stuff like send my rent in on time or not have that “one more beer”. A gal can dream.