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Am I So Wrong For Aspiring To Be Donald Trump Jr.?

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I’ve always believed that idolizing celebrities is something that should only be done by younger children or socially-impaired older children. Maybe I’m in the wrong here, but an adult having a full-blown infatuation with another person, especially another person whom they don’t even know personally, has always been a lot off to me.

Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s perfectly acceptable to be a huge fan of the work of your favorite stars. For example, there’s nothing overtly weird or creepy about simply having an obsession with a masterpiece like Thriller, but something about a grown adult worshipping Michael Jackson as if he were a godlike entity has always rubbed me the wrong way, even when I was a naive little boy.

I’m only saying all this to point out that I also believe that, in some rare cases, there can be exceptions to this (now) written rule. For instance, if that celebrity (or political figure) perfectly encapsulates the type of person you aspire to be one day, then it’s acceptable to idolize them. If they possess the exact skills and qualities you wish to someday possess, then it’s acceptable to idolize them.

As a longtime “internet troll” and aspiring comedy writer, I must admit that even I have fallen victim to this uncontrollable reverence for a certain celebrity icon.

That icon, as you probably already assumed, is superstar businessman and satirical mastermind Donald Trump Jr. I don’t want to spend hours on this, so I won’t get into everything, but one of my favorite pieces of literary satire of all time is DTJ’s famous “S&L” bit.

The way he intentionally replaced the N in SNL (acronym for Saturday Night Live) with an ampersand was just subtle and intellectually-driven enough to showcase his true brilliance to Twitter users with high IQs (e.g. me) while completely going over the heads of the rest of the world. Only a comedic genius like DonJay could use the striking phonetic similarities of “and” and “N” as a metaphor for the increasingly blurry line between “comedy” and political drivel where SNL currently resides.

Successfully trolling the Blue Check Mafia and 280K wide-eyed sheep is a move that I could only dream of pulling off one day. Since I was a young college boy passing up on sex to tediously scour Craigslist posts in my dorm bunk, I had visions of one day tricking an entire social media platform into thinking I was a gigantic buffoon. I still remember fantasizing about wooing Vanessa Haydon while picturing myself at 41-years-old: wealthy, charmingly handsome, married to a supermodel actress, hunting large game in Zimbabwe, and yet still finding time to troll Twitter with expertly-crafted satire and facetious allegorical musings.

Anyway, have a blessed Thursday everyone, and I hope you don’t feel overly “attacked” right now. I know I have a bad habit of targeting likeminded DTJ idolizers with my blogs.