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Dude Straight Up Arrested For Chucking A Cookie At His Girlfriend

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I don’t mean to stereotype right off the bat, but does this look like the face of a guy who has done a little more than just throw a cookie at his girlfriend? Just a thought. Let’s go on, shall we?

KRON - A Pasco County man is facing a domestic battery charge after his girlfriend accused him of throwing a cookie piece at her over the weekend.

Deputies were called to the couple’s home on Midland Street in Zephyrhills around noon on Sunday.

When they got to the scene, the victim told deputies 41-year-old Wade Smith threw a hard piece of cookie and hit her in the forehead.

In an arrest report, deputies noted that the victim had a red mark on the top of her forehead in her hairline.

Deputies say Smith admitted to throwing the cookie at the woman without her consent.

Good. First of all, wasting a cookie is just reckless and inconsiderate. By rule, if you have cookies in your house, they are to be consumed, often with a glass of milk. Cookies are NOT weapons. I repeat, NOT weapons. To use a cookie in any way besides to treat yourself to a delicious snack is uncivilized. So I’m not saying those face tattoos are reason enough to jail him, but his careless behavior with a cookie absolutely is.

Second of all, I don’t know what type of cookie it was, but if it was thrown hard enough to leave a mark on her forehead, he needs to be locked up for life. That’s two unforgivable crimes. And he admitted to it too. The shame and guilt was just too much for him to handle. Hitting his girlfriend with a cookie is a low moment in a man who appears to have made many mistakes in his life.

We here at Barstool do not stand with a man who throws and injuries his girl with a cookie. It is disgusting behavior and we hope he is punished as such. Imagine if it was a thin mint? Unforgivable. Give him life.



PS: is this dude lowkey Randy Johnson? Not for nothing, what did he hit on the gun with the cookie throw? He might be our new White Sox blogger by the end of the day.