Sorry But I Just Don't Trust Lady Gaga To Be A Philly Fan One Bit. Keep Her Away From Bradley Cooper


Alright so the entire internet is collectively jerking themselves off to Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper eye fucking each other every which way to Tuesday up on stage last night at the Oscars. Was it a sexually charged moment filled with lust, passion, temptation and desire? Of course it was. But it was also wrong for so many reasons and the fact that Bradley Cooper is a taken man isn’t even at the top of the list.

The real issue here is that I don’t trust Lady Gaga for shit. She is one of the most bizarre human beings on planet Earth. There is nothing normal about her. She’s probably the closest thing that we’ve ever seen to an actual alien. And with that in mind, I know for a fact that she would never be a Philadelphia Eagles fan. Which should terrify the shit out of all of you right now because we’ve all had friends like Bradley Cooper. One day you’re all out at the bar watching the Birds and having a great time, the next week this dude is absolutely nowhere to be found because he got a new girlfriend and it took her roughly 5 minutes to completely take over his entire existence.

If Bradley Cooper ends up falling into Lady Gaga’s web, then you can bet your sweet, sorry ass that the Philadelphia Eagles will have just lost one of their biggest and most important fans. That simply cannot happen. We cannot idly sit by and watch Bradley Cooper throw away his Eagles fandom for Lady Gaga. It’s times like this when Bradley Cooper needs some REAL friends to step in here and steer him back on the right path. Anybody who wants him and Gaga to start banging is nothing more than an enabler. If I’m the only true friend that Bradley Cooper has right now, then so be it. But somebody needed to say something.