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I Need These Boxers That Cool Your Balls And I Need Them Right Now

Snowballs – you see its funny because it keeps your nutsack cold

Mashable –  The specially designed underwear include SnowWedges for cooling. The wedges mold to the body and use a freezable, non-toxic gel to maintain a comfortable temperature for 30 minutes. Check out the video, below, to see how it works. While the patent-pending product doesn’t ensure conception under every circumstance, the creators explain that the underwear should increase sperm quality and quantity, and can serve as supplemental treatment. Snowballs are available for pre-order on Kickstarter starting at $55 — backers get three pairs along with an informative booklet called “The Gentleman’s Guide to Cooling.”

I don’t know about this whole fertility thing. If a wam nutsack kills my sperm and lowers my chances of getting a chick pregnant I’ll sit with a Bunson burner on my balls all day and night. I also don’t know about this 55 dollar nonsense. If you pat 55 bucks for underwear you’re a certifiable asshole.

But casting those 2 points aside, I am absolutely down with boxers that keep my junk cool. Like we can put a fucking man on the moon. The other day we basically cured AIDS. But here I am still walking around with swampass and a sweaty ballsack. Something’s not adding up, folks. Now I don’t want an ice pack directly on my dick and balls. That sounds pretty painful and uncomfortable. But if you could slide some sort of cooling pack into my boxers that keeps my taint nice and dry, I’d be down to give these Snowballs a chance. Obviously on date night these are out of the question. Can’t risk the shrinkage. On date night I’ll put Bengay and Tabasco sauce on my dick. Spice that shit up to get as many inches as I can out of myself. But on a day to day basis some nice, cold, snowy balls sounds awesome.