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That's It, The Celtics Officially Need A Kobe Bryant Exorcism

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God dammit. How did I not know that story? Read that excerpt again and tell me that’s not EXACTLY what is going on with Kyrie and this team. Great teams need someone to create conflict on purpose? Great teams need someone who will make his teammates uncomfortable? Let’s see, has Kyrie created conflict on purpose, well there was that whole beefing with the young players, then there was that whole flip flop drama about his future. I’d say yes. I would also say he’s made his teammates feel comfortable because he keeps talking about how they need to get on his level and shit like that. Just today he talked about how awkward and uncomfortable it was with everyone coming back.

It all makes so much sense. Every single one of the Celtics problems this season can be traced back to one villain. Kobe Bryant. Remember at the start of the season when Jayson Tatum looked like a completely different player but in all the wrong ways? Why do think that was? Oh because this dickhead started planting that stupid Kobe mentality in his head


At the time we joked, but then we saw those bad habits show up in games and it took Tatum a few weeks to snap out of the Black Mamba spell. With Kyrie, it does look like he’s been poisoned much, much worse. To save Kyrie I’m going to have to ask Ainge to take it up a notch. This isn’t something that could be corrected with film like with Tatum. Ainge needs to strap Kyrie down and give him a full on exorcism. Unleash the power of Red or something to get him free from Kobe’s grasp. Hell I would do it myself but I don’t think Chosens can do that sort of thing.

I’ll give him credit, we all knew Kobe was trying to ruin the Celtics from within, but I always thought it was just with Tatum. Hearing that advice he gave Kyrie, knowing that Kyrie wanted more than anything to be a leader and a great player like Kobe, of course he would tap into that line of thinking. No wonder things have been so messed up and Kyrie has come off like an asshole at times. He’s not being LeBron, he’s being Kobe!

I thought I already had enough hatred for Kobe given he stole that 2010 title from me because Ron Artest hit the biggest three of his life. Now all these years later he’s back and destroying this team from within targeting our most important players. With the Celtics about to embark on a gigantic home stretch and playoff run, I need every ounce of Kobe eliminated from this team so that means everything is on the table. It’s the only way.