Dear Lizzy, How Do I Exit The Friend Zone?

Dear-Lizzy

Dear Lizzy,

So my best friend in the world has been this girl for the past 5 years. We started being friends in college and we became inseparable. How do I get out the friend zone even though she shits on my life just like she’s one of the bros!

Thanks,

The Friend Zone Is No Friend To Me

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Dear The Friend Zone Is No Friend To Me,

There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just gonna say it: you’re kinda fucked.

My best friends have always been guys, and as such I can tell you if nothing has happened in those 5 years, if there has never been an “accidental” drunken make-out in FIVE years, she’s probably not into you in a romantic way.

Now of course, there is a small (and I do mean small) possibility she would entertain the idea of stepping out of the friend zone, but it’s likely you’re going to have to put your friendship on the line to figure this out.

The way I see it, the only way you can get away with this is to make a move when you’re both drunk. Lean in for a kiss if the situation feels right (a situation you’re going to have to create) and see how she responds. You WILL KNOW if she’s into it or not. And if she’s not – and I’m thinking she’s probably not – you can blame it on the alcohol. Make up an excuse about feeling down about whatever bullshit you want to throw out there and follow it with, “I had one too many.”

It’ll be weird for a few days, she’ll wonder if you were actually serious, but she will forget about it eventually and buy into that excuse because at the end of the day, she still needs you as a friend.

The alternative course of action here is to just be honest with her. If she’s into it, you’ll be living in my favorite rom com of all time…

But if she’s not…

Either way, you should do something about it because you’ll always regret it if you don’t. Two or three years down the road when you’re in a relationship with a really awesome girl, you won’t fully be able to appreciate her because you’ll always wonder what would have happened if you would have grown a pair and said something. Don’t do that to yourself.

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– Lizzy

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Please submit any questions you may have to dearlizzy@barstoolsports.com