How Far Into The Season Until Kobe Murders Someone Because He Almost Killed Dwight Howard Last Night In Game 1

“Try Me” from Kobe means Dwight Howard is sleeping with the lights on for a month.

Can I bet that Kobe murders a person this season? Is there a place that will take that action? Because it 100% is happening. No doubt in my mind. Game 1 last night and he’s already prepared to fist fight one of the biggest strongest guys in the league during a 4th quarter blow out. And yeah Dwight Howard is probably a pussy but still, this season is going to drive Kobe BUH-NA-NAS. Steve Nash out for the whole year, Nick Young missing time, Julius Randle, you know the first round pick beast out of Kentucky, yeah well he broke his leg last night

And now Kobe is left with this guy….

I don’t think I’d wish that on my own worst enemy. It’s like when you go out with a group of friends and everyone gets drunk and splinters off and before you know it you’re at the bar with the one guy you aren’t close with and he’s close talking you and has bad breath and keeps saying how much fun he’s having even though you just want to go home and die. That’s what Boozer and Kobe are like.

And the best part is we’re going to get it all this year. We’re going to get Ball Hog Kobe scoring 50 points on 40 shots. We’re going to get pissed off Kobe where he refuses to shoot for entire quarters and makes his shitty teammates carry the load. He’ll sulk in huddles, probably punch Ryan Kelly in practice, partly out of frustration, partly out of the whole Duke white guy thing, and ultimately the entire show will be fascinating to watch.  Kobe Bryant is going to murder someone this year, he’ll get away with it because he’ll hire an awesome lawyer, but he’ll murder someone. Then he’ll sell more shoes off the residual bad boy sizzle. It’s going to be a wild ride.