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Henny Rat Is The New King Of New York

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Hey Bezos, tell me how my ass tastes! Good luck finding a spot for HQ2, HQ3, or HQ100 that has culture to the level that rats drink themselves to death on the sidewalk. On Valentine’s Day no less! This should officially be the end of all the Pizza Rat imitators too. Philly Pretzel Rat, Pizza Rat II, as well as Pizza Rats III and IV (that infamously got into a fight on the subway tracks in this filthy city) ain’t got shit on Henny Rat, who did his best JR Smith impression of drinking Henny and giving out that sweet rat pipe until it literally killed him.

Services will be held at the 28th Street subway stop. In lieu of flowers, please send Yankees hats and Timbs. RIP In Peace Henny Rat.

Okay seriously, this city is a fucking shitshow. We need to find a new capital of the world. But until then, we will continue to wear the crown while mourning our lost king. Play us out, Alicia!