Quick PSA for all you young studs on the Tinders and Bumbles and Hinges out there, be very, very careful today. I know a few of you were wildly irresponsible when planning out dates and figured “hey, I’m not doing anything on Wednesday, I suppose I’ll take this nurse out to a Mexican restaurant, order some apps, and start getting lost in the margaritas, hoping that maybe you’ll get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions. And perhaps play a little game called just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels, or ouch, ouch, you’re on my hair.” Don’t do it! There’s plenty of other days you can take some basic betch you met on an app out on the town. You gotta send her a message that your dog ate a stick or your boss is making you stay late to do expense reports, just come up with something. Otherwise, what happens? What happens tomorrow? You don’t want that smoke. You don’t want this to be you:
This Friday though, the day after Valentine’s Day, the bars will be running wild with girls whose roommates are out on romantic dates with their significant others. That’s your time to shine. Today and tomorrow though? Focus on those expense reports.