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Alicia Keys Simultaneous Double Column 1: The AAF Wasn't Even Good Enough To Get Rejected By Name By Kyler Murray. Long Live The NFL

Alicia Keys did a bg old stunt on America last night at the Grammys playing two pianos at once. Well I one-upped her and wrote two simultaneous takes about wether or not the AAF is better then the NFL. This is Column 1:

I am currntly blogging two seperate storys this morning about the AAF games simultsly to show that what alicia keys did at grammys awards last night was not diffcult. FOLKS ,WE WERE TREAYTED T A WONDERFUL WEEKREND OF FOOTBALL.WE ALL MISSED THRE BEAUTIFUL GAME BUT NOW ITS BACK.

AAF had cermonial ballspotting folk’s but enough about the King Of Englands urologist. The fact of mattr is a league centered around Christian Hackenberg is doomed to fail. The cermonial ball placement is a obvious place that reeked of last minute adjustment. This is a job that shoud only be done by a dog preferbly golden retreiver whose trained to go out there and do his job. The fact that they decided to not execute this with a dog was cleary done on the fly as Atlanta Legends Offensive Coordnator Michael Vick quit the night before his teams first game, forcing them to have to use Hines Ward instead.

Perhaps the worst part of the AAF is the fact that there seems to be a complete lack of a salute to service month and breast cancer month. So I suppose if you want a league that dosen’t care if your aware how much awareness they bring to breast cancer awareness while spittting in the faces of soldiers its fine. It was also a big mistep having Spurrier not rocking a visor a sight I was unprepared to see like catching Rob Ryan in line at Sweetgreens or Kirk Cousins fucking. Gonna be tough to get that image out of my head. A visor is the football equivlant of a halo its why Sean Payotn wears one on the Saints. The hat is the football yalmuka which is not what you expect from a unorthodox coach like Steve.

Also- who is the commissoner of the AAF? No one knows its like the Wizard of Oz and its tough to defend a shield if your behind a curatain. My best guess is that its Marvin Lewis who was the third member of the booth last night with MJD and Dan Hellie and his twitter handle was listed as @TheAAF. Will be intresting to see a alternate league try to structure a playoff system that isnt predcated with ending after the first saturday game.

Say what you want about Roger GOodl- that hes handsome, smart, beautful, sexy, you want to have sex with him, his brain is great, hes a great listner, hes underpayed etc. but at leased he elcits emotions. The AAF might well be called the Aspergers Assocaton of FOotball since theres no on at top I can look in the eye no offence. Give me a head guy to love or hate- or at leased just declare God the commish & have the coin flup be Solomons riddle done by asking Nick Folks to splt the uprites in half& the first guy whose step’s in to stop him because they love the equipent so much get to shose wether or not to defer.

Time will tell wether this league or any other league can endurebut for now Id rather watch Bill Belchick watch tape of Bill Belchicks watching tape then tune in to a league that dosent even have its own injury verson of there theme song to play goin to comercal.