Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Who Stabbed His Friend Because He Wouldn't Switch Positions During A Threesome?

FARGO – A stabbing reported by a naked man who called 911 from an alley in north Fargo early Friday was a case of a ménage a trois gone wrong, police allege in court records. Ashley Hunter, 33, was charged Monday in Cass County District Court with a single count of aggravated assault after police say he stabbed Orlando DeWitt, a friend of his who was visiting him at his home in the 700 block of Fourth Street North, court records state. According to police reports filed with the charges: Hunter invited three women over to his home, and then the group, including DeWitt, went drinking at the Windbreak Bar on 32nd Avenue South. After they returned home, Hunter joined DeWitt and one of the women in a sexual act, DeWitt later told police. When Hunter asked DeWitt to switch positions, he refused and the two men began arguing, DeWitt told police. Hunter then reached into the couch and pulled out what DeWitt described to officers as a butcher knife 12 inches long and an inch wide. 

There has gotta no bigger power struggle than the one that goes on while 2 dudes are fucking one chick. Really when you think about it, its the most alpha male competition two men can engage in. Its more primal than Gladiators battling to the death at the Coliseum. Two men competing to fuck one chick. Multiple dicks, limited holes. Only the strong survive.

Maybe you start out on one end getting a blow job while your buddy is in the back. Can’t really complain about that but lets be honest – a chick is not giving her best effort when shes busy getting impaled from the back. When you’re in the front you’re more or less just waiting your turn to go to work. But what if that turn never comes? What if your buddy is bogarting the doggie style sex for himself? What then? A man has gotta stand up for himself in a situation like that. Can’t just let another dude dominate a threesome right in your face. And I don’t even wanna get into the other double penetration scenarios. I don’t even know how the ebb and flow of that situation works.

Bottom line is two guys on one chick is like two NBA superstars trying to coexist. Its like Lebron and D Wade. You wanna try to share the spotlight. You wanna try to cooperate and don’t wanna step on any toes. But in the heat of the moment theres always gonna be one top dog. There will always be one Lebron dominating the hole of his choice while a Dwyane Wade plays second fiddle in a lesser hole. You can either take that backseat and enjoy your sexual violation of this one woman, or you can attack the team captain with a 12 inch butcher knife. Like I said, only the strong survive in a Devil’s Threeway.