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Meet Jibo: The World's First Family Robot AKA One More Step To Eliminating Humans

Extremetech – Jibo is about 11 inches (28cm) tall, with a 6-inch base. He (yes, it’s a he) weighs around six pounds (2.7kg) and is mostly made of aluminium and white plastic. Jibo’s face mainly consists of a 5.7-inch 1980×1080 touchscreen, but there’s a couple of stereo cameras, stereo speakers, and stereo microphones hidden away in there too. Jibo’s body is separated into three regions, all of which can be motor-driven through 360 degrees — and it’s all fully touch sensitive, too, so you can interact by patting him on the head, poking his belly, etc.

Call me old fashioned but get the fuck off my lawn because I’m not even 30 and I’m yearning for a simpler time. Do we really need this advanced Furby as in intricate part of our lives? I suppose. The thing is pretty damn sweet. But for someone who just joined Instagram two years too late and still for some reason owns a cassette tape of Ace Of Base, this is scary shit.

What’s realistically frightening is this thing is more useful to mankind than I’ll ever be. I can’t even say the alphabet without the help of the song and here’s Jibo spreading literacy and sealing relationships without breaking a sweat. If he can put a couple coherent sentences about tits or Florida meth heads together then I’m back on the streets pushing pasta. So in my humble opinion, this damn thing needs to go back to cockteasing WALL-E. It’s only a matter of time it becomes self-aware, too. Enjoy everything now because soon an army of Jibos will go all Skynet and and nuke the human race back to the stone age.