LaVar Ball Rises From The Ashes To Say He Doesn't Want Lonzo To Be A Pelican And Will Speak Him Becoming A Sun Into Existence

Clem2/04/2019 10:23 PM

#VarBomb!!!

Ohhhhhhhhh fuck yeah. You know the Lakers must be getting close to trading for Anthony Davis once LaVar stops listening to whatever gag order LeBron threw on him and starts chirping again. This NBA trade deadline was already heading towards some sort of chaotic ending with this staredown between the Lakers and Pelicans. Now we have LaVar ready to cook and cut WWE promos again after every rumor tweeted by Woj and Shams. As the Chicago boys say, lets go all gas and no brakes all the way until Thursday at 3.

So I guess the best place for Lonzo is now Phoenix? Truth be told, I always figured the Knicks were destined to be the team that acquired him along with both his brothers which would no doubt lead to the rest of the basketball world laughing at LaVar ethering everyone from the front office on down to the players, coaches, and even maybe the fans as everything blew up spectacularly.

However, it appears LaVar realized the Suns have a young team that can pair Zo with someone in the backcourt that will handle the whole shooting the ball side of offense. So I will have to hold off on the dream of the Knicks getting a Ball until LaMelo enters the draft because even though a 2nd year player demanding where he ends up seems crazy, LaVar is pretty much undefeated when it comes to speaking things into existence. And you know what? I am fine with it. Not only because the Knicks are aiming to sign superstars like Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving in free agency or the Knicks just shipped out a guy that had a meddling family member. But also because the incredible rants LaVar and Greta will engage in against the Suns once Var realizes Robert Sarver is a Top 3 worst NBA owner will be the stuff of legends.