CLINTON, Iowa —The Goodwill store in eastern Iowa’s Clinton has returned almost $2,000 found in a donated coat. Goodwill says a man who lives in the Quad-Cities area had given away the coat because he didn’t think his ailing wife would wear it again. He didn’t know she’d hidden money in it. The coat ended up at the Clinton Goodwill, where the cash was found by a trainee earlier this week. Store manager Mary Anspach did some detective work with the help of the Rock Island, Illinois, store, and the man who’d donated the coat soon had back the money.
So I guess people don’t like free money any more which is an odd twist. This is the third time in the last two days we’ve had stories of people giving back money they found when they easily could’ve kept it with nobody knowing. I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. The world and the people who live here are supposed to be getting worse, not better. I simply don’t get it. Is it because everybody’s in a good mood that summer is right around the corner? That has to be it. There’s no other explanation that makes sense and I refuse to believe people are getting nicer. If winter was upon us I bet we wouldn’t have heard about these stories. These good samaritans would be stashing the money in their basements and hunkering down for the cold weather. Yesterday we had the little boy who gave back $10,000 he found in a hotel and then there were the idiotic college kids who found $41,000 in a couch and gave that back too. Now today we have a Goodwill worker giving back $2,000 he found in a coat. A coat that was donated and the owner had no idea the money was even there. They still gave it back. Not only did they give it back but they tracked the person down who lived in another state just to return it. Gross. Stop it, people. Stop setting the morality bar so high. Now if I ever find a bunch of money I’m gonna feel bad about keeping it and spending it on booze and beef jerky. Thanks Obama.