Pepsi Asking Coca-Cola To Declare A Truce During Super Bowl Week In Atlanta Makes Me Sick To My Stomach

What kind of bullshit is this?!? You cannot, I repeat CANNOT, have Coke and Pepsi squash a beef decades old because one of the biggest weeks of the year happens to be in Coke’s backyard. That’s like the Capulets and Montagues trying to work things out because two of their kids liked bumping nasties or Goodell and Portnoy calling things even stevens and laughing about how much money they have. There are certain rivalries that just make the world go round and Pepsi vs. Coke is at the top of the list.

Pepsi shouldn’t be looking to make a truce with Coca-Cola while they are in Atlanta. They should be looking to light the town ablaze and take no prisoners like General Sherman did once upon a time. If I was Coca-Cola, I would open up the gates of the Coke factory and allow the Pepsi employees inside, and treat them with all the hospitality of the Red Wedding. Okay, that’s a little intense. But I would definitely slit the throat of John T. Pepsi’s statue and tell the rest of the employees to run. Run back to wherever Pepsi’s headquarters is and tell their bosses what happened down in A-Town. If you were on the fence of the Coke-Pepsi war, you would strictly buy the can of whatever company brought the fight to their enemy’s gates.

Instead, we have shit like this going down.

The fact that those two formulas combining doesn’t lead to a chemical reaction that causes an explosion is a HUGE disappointment. I would hope both Coke and Pepsi would add their own ingredient that on their own would be harmless, but when mixed together could blow up a house.

But instead of having a rivalry on par with anything Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin engaged in over the years, we have people holding hands and singing kumbaya. A sad day for America, nay, the world.

UPDATE: Apparently Pepsi is trying to raise some money with this cola truce.

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That is a nice gesture and all. But this feels like Pepsi is going into Coke’s house and pushing them around on social media before unleashing 100 commercials on Super Bowl Sunday that cost roughly a bazillion dollars with the strict intent of making Coca-Cola go bankrupt. I’m actually interested to see how Coca-Cola responds to all this. I’m hoping it’s with nuclear warheads (figuratively speaking. Maybe literally speaking as well). But if these two companies want to make money for a good cause, they should have their employees box at Rough N Rowdy 7 and for every loss, the company donates a million dollars to the United Way. Do the right thing Coke and Pepsi. Dial this rivalry up to 10 instead of down to 0.

h/t Nick