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Holy Shit, Somehow Mike Grinnelli Undersold How Gross His Living Situation Is Right Now

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This blog just showed up on the website. It’s a good blog. It’s very NYC. Unless you are making mid 6 figs, you probably either 1) live in an apartment you absolutely cannot afford, or 2) live in an apartment you can afford, but it’s a complete shit hole. There’s usually very little in between. It’s extremely hard to find that sweet spot. Of course it’s possible, but most people I know fall into one of those two categories. An unreal amount of people fall into number 1, living in a place that costs over 1 paycheck per month. Let’s paint with broad strokes and say a mid-level job in NYC is netting you a $2,500 paycheck every two weeks, a lot of those people are living in places that cost much more than $2,500 a month.

Then on the other hand, let’s say you live within your means. You find a nice walk up apartment and pay $1,700 a month and share it with a couple buddies, and you think it’s all good. Well, welcome to NYC, now you have mice and the radiator is about to explode as it wakes you up sounding like a bomb going off at 3am.

So Mike Grinelli of the Spittin Chiclets empire/California boondoggle fame has quite a situation on his hands. He titled the blog “I Live In An Apartment From Hell”, and he undersold just how terrible his current situation is. I read the blog and then went to his timeline and I vomited. It’s a pure horror story:

Dude has been drinking and partying working his butt off for a week on the west coast and just wants to get into bed and finally get some sleep, and he walks into his room and gets into a soggy bed completely ruined by toxic waste dripping out of the ceiling.

I mean in theory yes, but in NYC where rules are made up and points don’t matter, they’ll probably find a way to sue you instead.

Don’t forget he has mice too.

IT’S HIS UPSTAIR’S NEIGHBOR’S SHIT AND PISS WATER THAT LEAKED INTO HIS BED AND ALL OVER HIS ROOM. Like….CONFIRMED he has shit dripping down into his room. I thought I was done gagging, but nope….brace yourselves….

BRO. You have shit raining down on your head! Literal shit!

I don’t even know what you do. Surely you never pay rent again or something, right? Maybe just burn down the entire place? What sort of judge or jury would find him in the wrong for lighting a match and walking out? Kid’s just trying to edit a podcast and he’s dodging chunks of dookie left and right like he’s trapped in some sort of sewage tank war zone.

I don’t know if we start a GoFundMe for him or what we do. We can’t have an employee at Barstool living in a sewer. It’s a bad look for all of us. I’m sure Whitney and Biz will figure something out. A few shots of New Amsterdam Vodka (It’s so smooth you can create a perfect cocktail or drink it straight) and I’m sure they’ll have a plan to save young Grinnelli’s life. No way they allow such a promising young man live his life in the gutter like that. No way.