Happy Kansas Day, Except Obviously Fucking Not

Today is apparently “Kansas Day,” which is, as morbid as this sounds, a real thing that residents of the state attempt to celebrate. Wikipedia, the absolute extent of research I’m willing to do on the most depressing “holiday” ever conceived, says, “Annual Kansas Day celebrations include school field trips and special projects to study the history of Kansas, pioneer-style meals, special visits by students to the Kansas Statehouse in Topeka, performances of the Kansas State Song, and I’m falling into a deep, child-like slumber.

And the theme for this year’s Kansas Day, for the 154th year in a row, is….Corn on the Plains!

How enticing!

Yum!

“We’re most famous for a 1939 fantasy film that was filmed in a completely different state, but we also have infinite amounts of a light brown species of grass!”

This looks like a video campaign against the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

These graphics look like Dwight D. Eisenhower made them on a UNIVAC computer.

No thanks!

One diabetes. Two diabetes.

Good old-fashioned, rock-hard Kansas Pop-Tarts!

Someone wrote “edible food.” edible food. 

Also, “hilly.”

Boo!

Booooooooooo!

Not sure how this came up in my search for Kansas Day, but this random pedophile looks exactly like how I’d picture everyone over the age of 24 who lives in Kansas.