— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) July 10, 2014
READER EMAIL: I was hungover as fuck today because softball, and mailed it in fucking EARLY. Started taking a ton of those stupid online quizzes and shit you not…here’s what image came up on the “How bro are you, bro” quiz. Thank god I only got 30%. Some questions were unfair…of course I buy my beer in 30 bricks and not fancy IPAs and shit. But how about Brainfall.com just cuckholding Pres’ likeness and image for internet ad dollars like you read about. Rough week for the mogul.
First off, if you even think to take a quiz entitled “How Bro Are You, Bro?”, you’ve already aced the “Bro” test with flying colors. Might as well pick up a 30 of Miller Lite, pop the collar and talk about how much pussy you pretend to conquer at every available opportunity.
Obviously we’re focusing on the Mogul getting out Mogul’d left and right. The middle-aged kid leaves for vacation and can’t catch a break. First the site collapses on itself, then it was the catfishing of Mark Cuban’s secretary by a Stoolie. Next Johnny Football went to Boston with no prior head’s up and now other sites are using the Presidente’s likeliness and image without consent. Not even factoring in the GTL douche tank that I don’t even know if we sold but 100% did (probably still do). Real Moguls don’t let their Mogulness get pimped out for free. If that were Mark Cuban he’d be raking in a hundred and a handy every time his image is refreshed. Hopefully his unbridled enthusiasm doesn’t lead to the downfall of
Billy Mumphrey Davey Pageviews.