Adam Schefter Was The Guy Who Broke The News To Matt LaFleur That He Was Hired As The Green Bay Packers Head Coach

Fucking Peaboy. The guy is so good at his job that he knows the news before the people the news is about know the news. Some people are addicted to drugs. Some are addicted to gambling. And then there are some addicted to knowing the news. That’s Schefter, folks.

There’s nothing worse than spoiling something for someone. One time PMT was doing an ad in the office and had their backs to the TVs. I noticed the Caps scored in a playoff game, but PFT wasn’t going nuts. I gave him a heads up and immediately found out they were watching on a delayed feed on a smaller TV I couldn’t see. I wanted to kill myself.

You never want to be THAT guy. Everyone hates THAT guy. Adam Schefter is THAT guy. In non-sports terms, imagine being a dad and finding out your daughter just got engaged, but your neighbor saw her Instagram story first and came running over to celebrate, accidentally spoiling everything. I’d have that guy murdered.

If Schefter has a group chat with his buddies I hope they just send him stories throughout the day and ask him if he knew about it and try to outnews him. Watch this quick interview he did with HBO. If you can out-scoop Schefty on a story it’ll break him. He’d rather die than lose a scoop.

I wish there was a camera on Schefter when Rapoport gets a story before him. A reality show between those two and Jay Glazer during NFL free agency would be must-watch.