Wawa Is Giving Out 4.5 TONS Of Free Hoagies This Wednesday At Independence Hall

WELCOME AMERICA - Wawa Welcome America’s Hoagie Day returns this Wednesday, July 2 with tons, literally 4.5 tons, of free hoagies for all to enjoy. On Wednesday, July 2, beginning at noon, spend your lunch break on Independence Mall with all of the freshly-made hoagies you can imagine. Wawa Hoagie Day also serves as a salute to members of the military, police force and firefighters. Throughout the day, watch local police and fire departments compete in a variety of Hoagie-centric events and enjoy a patriotic performance by the United States Army Fife and Drum Corps. Just across Independence Mall, the National Constitution Center opens its doors for free all day long on Wednesday, July 2 and promises a variety of special programming like an exhibition about the history of the hoagie and live music.

4.5 TONS of hoagies baby. Now that’s a shitload of Shorties.

In theory this is a phenomenal idea. However, the weather forecast is coming in hot with a high of 94 degrees and a humidity that will make the dryest ass swampier than the Everglades. That mayonessiehse is going to turn real bad real fast. I don’t even want to fathom the smell from thousands of homeless migrating down to Olde City to get their hands on a free 4-inch turkey hoagie. Like a cattle drive reeking of Colt 45’s and bum piss. And it’s still going to be worth it.

ALL HAIL THE HOAGIE AND CUE THE MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC: