Pedro Martinez's Super Bowl Pick Is In

Oh, ya know. Just the GOAT predicting another Super Bowl title for the GOAT. Nothing to see here. Greatness appreciating greatness. Legends admiring legends. Another day in the Boston sports world.

Side note — humble brag, but I want to kill myself. That’s not the humble brag part. I was invited to watch the AFC Championship game at the motherfucking Varitek’s house last night with THE Captain and Pedro goddamn Martinez and I didn’t see the text. I just didn’t. See. The text. I fucking MISSED it. HOW. WHY. GOD.

We’ve all used the “I didn’t see your text” excuse when we’ve been called out for ignoring a text, but I legitimately did not see that text and literally all I do is look at my phone. This is just God’s way of saying that he hates me. Watching Tom Brady go to his NINTH Super Bowl with Pedro and Tek? Nah, I’m good. I’d much rather watch it by myself in my shitty New York City apartment, stuffing shitty takeout food into my shitty face.

Hubbs just asked me where this ranks among the most regrettable things that have ever happened in my life and I said number one. Having the chance to watch the greatest quarterback of all-time go to his ninth Super Bowl with the greatest pitcher of all-time and his legendary two-time World Series champion batterymate, and all I had to do was look at my fucking phone. I am looking at my phone 99% of the time that I’m awake. Why have you forsaken me, God? Why. WHY.