Kim Jong-Un Is Going To Be A Total Beach Babe This Summer On His Brand New Beach Resort In North Korea
CNN – Ambitious plans for an enormous new beach resort on North Korea’s southeast coast are nearing completion, according to satellite images obtained by the US-based monitoring group 38 North.
The Wonsan-Kalma tourist zone, slated to open October 2019, will be a huge complex with hotels, a marina, a sports complex, water slides and more.
North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un highlighted the project in his New Year address and is reported to have visited the site at least three times in the past year, according to state media. Development has been proceeding at a rapid pace, with a cinema and water slide already built. What was a handful of buildings just two years ago is now a huge beachfront sprawl.
Okay so first of all, let’s just take politics completely out of the equation for a moment. I don’t care who you are or how evil you may be. I think that everybody deserves to enjoy a little down time on the beach in the summer. Get those toes in the sand, the salty air in your soul, it’s impossible to be pissed off while you’re on the beach. Come to think of it, this could actually be the best possible thing when it comes to world peace. If you stick Kim Jong-Un on this new beach resort and pack him up a Yeti cooler full of cold ones, a few sandwiches, and maybe a portable speaker? Well guess who’s not trying to blow up the world with missiles anymore? Kimmy J, that’s who. Because now he’s Kimmy Beach Babe and he doesn’t have a care in the world besides some tasty waves and a cool buzz.
Secondly, just imagine Kim Jong-Un out there having himself a time at the beach. I’m picturing him playing a few rounds of SpikeBall with the boys while they wait for the tide to change over. And then once that tide starts coming in again, they head out there with their boards and they just start to shred it up. You think these brehs ever want to blow the world up?
Maybe figuratively, but certainly not literally. You give Kim Jong-Un one summer at this beach resort and all of a sudden he’s going to be wearing a puka shell necklace, working at the surf shop, and the only time he even considers going to war is when some tourist snakes his wave. Locals only, kook.
But yeah. You’re lying to yourself if you wouldn’t want to see some videos and pictures of Kimbo Slice living that Endless Summer lifestyle. And when all is said and done, the world will be a better place because of it.