Melvin Upon, Previously Known As B.J. Upton, Is Now Back To Being Called B.J. Upton

All seems right in the universe again. The moment B.J. Upton switched his name to Melvin I didn’t know what to think of the world. You can’t just take the best nickname in baseball and throw it away. That’s not how this works, pal. Remember when Fausto Carmona started going by Roberto Hernandez? There is a zero intimidation factor going by Roberto Hernandez. Fausto Carmona might shut me out through nine. Roberto Hernandez doesn’t get past the fifth.

Do you know why Melvin Upton went by B.J. in the first place? It had nothing to do with his actual name, but instead his dad Manny who went by the nickname Bossman. Thus B.J. stood for Bossman Junior. I don’t know how you go away from such an electric nickname. BJs are back in town folks, even though he’s not in the big leagues anymore. B.J. Upton plays Major League Baseball, Melvin Upton does my taxes. There’s a reason you were a free agent, you went by the name Melvin. It’s not brain surgery, it’s just logic.

P.S. It is absolutely INSANE B.J. Upton made $107 million during his playing days. INSANE. He played 12 years and had a career batting average of .243, only having above 80 RBIs twice. What a hero.