Cody Parkey Went On The Today Show And Now I Can't Stop Puking

I’m not disgusted because the Bears lost and I’m not disgusted Cody Parkey didn’t hit the game winning field goal. I’m disgusted there isn’t one brain cell in his non-CTE riddled head preventing him from making this appearance. I’m disgusted that he’s willing to accept praise from Samantha Guthrie. That he’ll gladly accept her bullshit award for Most Honorable Person, whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean, because he has the courage to sit with 3 puppets for a couple minutes on the softest news broadcast in recorded history. Tell us more Cody about how you and your smoke bomb wife are getting over this devastating loss.

It hasn’t been one-week since the City of Chicago had it’s heart ripped out and shoved down our throats. And here we are smiling and laughing with the gang in New York! The fact we’re even talking about this – much less THINKING about it is absolutely insane. Seriously one of the craziest things I’ve ever witnessed. Almost to the point that the only way Cody Parkey makes this appearance is because his agent already told him he’s not coming back. He knows the Bears don’t care about the $5m cap hit and that they’d rather have an open tryout then send him out there preseason week 1. It’s the only explanation because it’s the only one that makes sense.

Personally, I have no problem speaking for everyone when I say there is puke everywhere right now. I’m puking on Ed as I type this. Can’t stop. I’m disgusted. Time to get a beef. Fuck Cody Parkey.