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GROCERY STORE BATTLE ROYALE

Okay it was kinda sad seeing that little kid try to intervene and stop his mother from fighting but other than that, awesome. Very awesome. I like how we don’t know how the fight started or how it ended. It was borderline cinematic in how it was filmed. That fight could still be going on for all we know. Those chicks could still be beating up on each other in the produce aisle.

The one thing missing from that video was the combatants using grocery store items to fuck each other up. Such a missed opportunity by all involved. I wanted them to be grabbing anything and everyting around them and using it as a weapon. Those two chick who were exchanging haymakers in the produce section could’ve easily grabbed a cucumber and used it to bludgeon the other. Alas.

I asked my good friend, roommate and heart attack survivor Bob Fox if there had ever been a wrestling match that took place in a grocery store and his eyes lit up. He immediately blurted out, “Stone Cold vs Booker T!” because Bob is a pro wrestling encyclopedia so I looked it up and yep. This is exactly what I wanted those women to do

Squirting ketchup and mustard on each other. Pouring flour on each other. Smashing frozen pizzas on each other’s heads. Booker T locked him in the damn freezer! That’s what I wanted from the feamle battle royale but oh well.